The Menendez brothers, Erik and Lyle, gained notoriety after their conviction for the 1989 murders of their parents, José and Kitty Menendez. Despite spending the rest of their lives in prison, both brothers went on to marry. Their relationships, though
unconventional, offer an intriguing glimpse into the complexities of love and connection under the harshest circumstances. This article explores their marriages, the women who chose to stand by them, and how their relationships evolved despite their life sentences.
Erik and Lyle Menendez’s Infamous Story
Before delving into their marriages, it’s crucial to understand the background that thrust Erik and Lyle Menendez into the spotlight. On August 20, 1989, the brothers shot their parents at close range in their Beverly Hills home. The trials that followed were heavily publicized, and both Erik and Lyle were eventually convicted of first-degree murder and sentenced to life without parole.
Despite their incarceration, both brothers formed intimate relationships and eventually married.
Lyle Menendez’s First Marriage to Anna Eriksson
Lyle Menendez’s first marriage occurred while he was serving his life sentence. In 1996, Lyle married Anna Eriksson, a model who had been corresponding with him during his trial. Eriksson, who initially wrote to Lyle during the first trial, eventually moved to Los Angeles to be closer to him. They tied the knot on July 2, 1996, the same day Lyle was sentenced to life in prison.
Their relationship began through letters, and despite the unusual circumstances, their connection deepened. However, their marriage did not last. In 2001, Eriksson filed for divorce, citing Lyle’s unfaithfulness, as she discovered he had been exchanging letters with other women.
Lyle’s Second Marriage to Rebecca Sneed
After his divorce from Anna Eriksson, Lyle remarried in 2003. His second wife, Rebecca Sneed, had known him for about a decade before they became romantically involved. Sneed, a magazine editor at the time, started communicating with Lyle through letters, much like his first wife. After their marriage, Rebecca pursued a law degree and became an attorney.
Though their relationship is far from typical, Lyle has expressed his deep appreciation for his wife. In an interview, he shared that his marriage with Rebecca helps sustain him, offering him emotional stability despite the harsh realities of prison life. Rebecca, who remains private, visits Lyle weekly and has stood by him for over two decades, enduring public judgment for her choice to marry him.
Erik Menendez’s Marriage to Tammi Saccoman
Erik Menendez’s journey to marriage is equally unique. In 1999, Erik married Tammi Saccoman, a woman who began corresponding with him in 1993 during his trial. At the time, Tammi was married to Chuck Saccoman, who approved of her initial letters to Erik. However, after Chuck tragically passed away in 1996, Tammi’s relationship with Erik grew deeper.
Tammi’s life took a dark turn when she discovered that her husband had been sexually abusing her teenage daughter. After Chuck turned himself in, he died by suicide, leaving Tammi to raise their 9-month-old daughter alone. During this difficult time, Erik comforted her through letters, and their bond grew stronger.
Four years after they first began corresponding, Erik and Tammi met for the first time in person in 1997. Erik described the meeting as one of the most beautiful moments of his life. Tammi, who was incredibly nervous, recalled sending Erik only a tiny picture of herself, but their connection transcended the physical.
In 1998, Erik proposed to Tammi, and they married at Folsom Prison in a simple ceremony that famously included a Twinkie as their wedding cake. Though Erik remains in prison, Tammi has continued to support him, visiting him weekly and raising her daughter with a quiet resilience. She has often spoken about the challenges of being married to a convicted murderer but has stood firm in her belief that Erik is a good person.
Navigating the Challenges of Incarcerated Marriages
Both Lyle and Erik Menendez face unique challenges in their marriages. One significant obstacle is the lack of conjugal visits, as California does not allow such privileges for inmates serving life sentences.
While this limitation is difficult, both brothers have spoken about how their marriages have thrived without physical intimacy. Lyle, in particular, has noted that his marriage with Rebecca is built on deep emotional connection and intimate conversations. Without the distractions of everyday life, they focus on communicating and finding creative ways to maintain their bond.
Similarly, Tammi has expressed that while the absence of a physical relationship with Erik is challenging, their emotional connection is what sustains their marriage. Erik has also emphasized that it is the emotional support Tammi provides that makes their relationship work. For Erik, Tammi’s love has been a lifeline, helping him survive the emotional toll of life in prison.
The Media’s Role in the Menendez Brothers’ Relationships
The Menendez brothers’ marriages have drawn significant media attention, especially with the resurgence of interest in their case due to documentaries and television series like Ryan Murphy’s Netflix series “Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story.” This renewed focus on the brothers’ lives, including their allegations of sexual abuse at the hands of their father, has put their marriages back in the spotlight.
Both Tammi and Rebecca have faced public scrutiny for their relationships, with some questioning their decisions to marry convicted murderers. However, both women have remained steadfast, with Tammi often speaking out in defense of Erik’s character, and Rebecca quietly supporting Lyle from behind the scenes.
Conclusion
The marriages of Lyle and Erik Menendez are a testament to the complexity of human relationships, even in the most unusual and difficult circumstances. Despite being convicted of murdering their parents, both brothers found love while serving life sentences.
Their wives, Rebecca Sneed and Tammi Saccoman, have remained committed to them, offering emotional support and companionship. These marriages, though unconventional, highlight the power of emotional connection and resilience in the face of adversity.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Who was Lyle Menendez’s first wife?
Lyle Menendez’s first wife was Anna Eriksson, a former model. They married in 1996, but their relationship ended in 2001 when Eriksson filed for divorce, citing Lyle’s infidelity.
2. Who is Lyle Menendez’s current wife?
Lyle Menendez is currently married to Rebecca Sneed, whom he married in 2003. Sneed is a former magazine editor who later became an attorney.
3. When did Erik Menendez marry Tammi Saccoman?
Erik Menendez married Tammi Saccoman in 1999 at Folsom Prison. The two began corresponding during Erik’s trial, and their relationship blossomed over the years.
4. Do the Menendez brothers get conjugal visits?
No, conjugal visits are not allowed for inmates serving life sentences in California. Both Erik and Lyle have expressed that their relationships are sustained by emotional rather than physical intimacy.
5. Why did Tammi Saccoman marry Erik Menendez?
Tammi Saccoman married Erik Menendez because she believes in his character and found emotional support through their letters. She has remained committed to him despite the public scrutiny surrounding their marriage.